I gotta lotta problems with you people!
Bush! I understand you're still spending more money than God could print. Knock it off and cut some programs.
Rumsfeld: What the hell are you doing? Kill those radical bastards so we can move onto Iran.
Michael Moore: You're liar. And you're fat.
O'Reilly: The act is old. Find a new schtick.
Dan Rather: Quit already.
UDATE: Hey, OTB has a Festivus page, too.