Last night, I was lucky enough to have my second hour before the exposed Eucharist in one week. My wife was out of town with the kids, so I took her place. My usual hour is in the morning, before work. The sun is up, the room is bright. It's like Easter morning.
But in the evening, it's different. It's more like the Agony in the Garden. The room seems larger and darker. Christ seems closer. Inescapable. Undeniable. He asks for everything in exchange for everything, and in that moment you realize everything you have, everything you see, everything you buy and sell is nothing. And what many call nothing--a spirit--is everything. Not just any spirit, but the spirit that became man and died at the hands of those He came to save.
Yeah, I know, there's nothing new here. But then, there has been nothing new since Ecclesiastes, right? But words cannot describe God. Still, we try.
Last night, I realized that Jesus is clearing a path for me to return to full communion. It won't be easy, but each day another tree in the path falls back into the forest, and I can take another step. Soon, but never soon enough for me, I will be able to make a true sacramental confession. Then I can taste our Savior in the Eucharist.
It's a great journey. I recommend it to everyone.