Harsha Chigurupati wants to make your spirits functional.
Don't you want functional spirits?
Functional spirits potentially help billions of people.
At this point, you're probably wondering "what the hell are functional spirits?" And that's precisely what you should be thinking. Congratulations.
You might feel a little frustrated--maybe even angry at me, the writer. You might be thinking, "why doesn't he tell me what a functional spirit is?"
And I will, dear reader. I will. In just a moment.
But there's great benefit in keeping you in suspense. Benefit for both of us.
For you, it make this story more interesting. For me, you will remember both the phrase "functional spirits" and its meaning better. Because you're wondering what I mean by "functional spirits," your brain will celebrate when you get it. That celebration will include a little shot of dopamine, the reward chemical. Dopamine makes you feel pleasure, like when you eat something good, win a prize, or have sex. And when you discover something gratifying, like the meaning of "functional spirits."
Discovery is the key here. When suspense is satisfied, you feel more powerful. You've discovered the missing ingredient. It helps when you, the reader, had a hand in unveiling the truth. Like putting the final piece in a puzzle. A mental puzzle.
Harsha Chigurupati invented a technology that eliminates most of the physical harm from drinking. In other words, Harsha's made alcohol work for us instead of against us. His spirits function for humanity's betterment, thus (you're way ahead of me) functional spirits.
You won't forget that term now. You might even find yourself using "functional spirits" in conversation. Or you might modify other nouns with "functional" in the next few days. Functional bread. Functional shoes. Functional pets. You'll apply it to anything that works for you instead of against you.
Alcohol gets us buzzed, but it messes with our livers, our genome, and with all of our cells because of oxidation. But functional spirits protect our cells and our livers. They're functional. They serve a purpose without the detriment.
Now you've learned three things in one post: functional is good, delayed gratification aids memory, and alcohol infused with NTX protects your liver and other organs from damage. Good reader.
Feel smarter? I thought so.